About Me

2 years to conceive a baby is the last thing I thought could happen to us...

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm 25 and my husband is 27. We have been together since Oct 13, 2000 - I was 16 & he was 18. We've got married Dec 24, 2006. We started trying to conceive in February 2007 with no success.

In September 2007 we were referred to our current doctor (RE) and she specializes in Gynecologic Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility MSc, MD, FRCSC at fertility clinic in Toronto. Me and my husband did many test which all came back with great results. We were tested through Sonohysterogram, Laporoscopy, Hysteroscopy, Hysterosalpingogram (HSG), Semen DNA Fragmentation to name a few...

We did 3 IUI's; Then we decided to start doing IVF to increase our chances. Unfortunately, we found out that I have unexplained poor response to medications. We spent over $36,000 out of the pocket just in 2007 & 2008 for all our procedures. We had 4 failed IVF attempts, some canceled after weeks of expensive injections. Every cycle was a heartbreak and the pain never goes away.

Our diagnosis is UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY
Unexplained poor responder
Unexplained elevated prolactin
  • Natural - Feb.’07-Oct. ’07;
  • IUI#1 - Nov '07- Clomid 50mg (cd5-9); HCG; Progesterone 400g;
  • IUI#2 - Jan '08- Clomid 50mg (cd5-9); HCG; Progesterone 400mg;
  • IVF#1 - Long Agonist Protocol; Feb '08 - BCP; Mar '08 - Suprefact / Puregon 175IU; Canceled after 9 weeks of injections due to 3.2cm cyst on the right ovary
  • IVF#2 - Long Agonist Protocol; April '08 BCP; May '08 - Puregon 200 IU/Orgalutran 250 mg; ER May 14 - ET May 17; 5 eggs-3 mature-2 fertilized; Day 3 transfer; transferred two 8-cell & 7-cell grade 1 embies; Progesterone 600mg;
  • Natural - June ’08; Aspirin 81mg/Pre-Seed;
  • IVF#3 - Short Antagonist Protocol; July '08 - Canceled after 10 days of injections due to elevated prolactin 36.6 & poor response; only 8 follicles and not developing
  • IVF#4 - Short Antagonist Protocol; Aug/Sept' 08 -Gonal-f (225iu)/Menopur (150iu); Cetrotide (250mg);Ovidrel 10,000 IU; Progesterone in oil injections (50mg), Aspirin (81mg) Cancelled after 12 days of injections (less than 7 follicles); Later converted to IUI#3
  • IVF#5 - Estrogen Priming with MicroFlare Protocol; Oct '08 - Start Estrace Oct5 (7DPO); Stop next CD2 after AF (Oct11) start stim with Gonal-F (450iu) & microdose of Lupron/Suprefact (0.05iu); Took Aspirin 81 mg; Almost canceled due to poor response after 13 days of injections (only 6 follicles developing) + ovarian cysts; ER on cycle day 21 (!!!) after 18 days of stims; Got 10 eggs; 7 mature; 5 fertilized with ICSI; Day 5 transfer of 2 blastocysts (2AB both); one was hatching; None to freeze, all arrested; Crinone 8% & Estrace 6mg after ET
  • Greater than 50% of patients achieve pregnancy on their first IVF cycle.
  • Close to 50% of patients who had a second cycle also achieved pregnancy.
  • Finally, 40% of patients who did a third cycle achieved a clinical pregnancy.

Statistically, most people have become pregnant by their third cycle.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

It's not fair...and it hurts...just don't give up...

I DO NOT appreciate hearing that it wasn't meant to be or that 'God' has reasons for doing things. First, when I hear 'it wasn't meant to be' I wonder why that crack whore was meant to get pregnant. I do not believe that 'God' has reasons for making people infertile any more than 'God' has reasons for children being molested or women being raped or animals being tortured. Why do wonderful loving people suffer their last moments dying of cancer, while child abusers shoot up cocaine into their veins for years and still have the time to beat the living spirit out of their girlfriends. Why? I do not believe 'God' has any control over those things cause in my eyes you can't just pick and choose what 'God' controls. Why when women get pregnant after numerous IVF, some praise God for it, not the science. Yet when something bad happens, no one mentions God. I do not believe in God and I am not scared of hell. If you were in my shoes you would know – I’ve lived through it already.


I could have given up. I could have listened to EVERYONE around me tell me to stop doing this to myself. No one understands. Everyone just threw their irritating comments about me needing to stop the drugs, which made me gain weight, made me emotional. I was inconsolable. I could have started the adoption process. I could have had friends, memories, and fun times. All the things I missed while playing the stupid waiting game.

I spent months taking drugs and medications. We spent a fortune on them. We could have gone to five star European resorts with that money. I missed travelling, seeing my family and more importantly, I missed my friends children grow up, and I missed my nephews growing up.

I cried. Almost every day. I thought about infertility every hour.

But it happened. Because I didn't give up.

I still cry, and not happy tears. It still hurts. Until I hold this baby in my arms, it's still my dream....and I'll do number 10, 11 and 12 too. Whatever it takes to get my family. It's not a sick game because I'm competitive, and I want to win the prize, a bunch of babies. It's because I want more than ever to be a mom, and I deserve it.

So do you. Please don't give up.

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1 comment:

Miss Lee said...

Hi,
I'm not sure if you're still using this blog or checking comments but..
I just wanted to say I LOVED this post! I agree whole-heartedly with everything you said. I'm currently waiting for my 2nd embryo transfer. I just can't imagine my life without children. Only other women in this situation can understand. Thank you :) x

August 12, 2011 at 8:06 AM

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