He was right!

He was so right!!!!!! I have more follicles that FINALLY caught up by CD 18 today. Wow, this is a very long cycle. Very long but it seems like by the end, my follicles caught up a bit.

I don't have many on my left ovary, but I think it's because I have a cyst there. It was there from the start but we decided to proceed with this cycle regardless. It was 1.2 cm at the beginning and grew to 1.5 cm by today. I read somewhere that cyst "drain" estrogen from the ovary, so probably that's why even though there were 10 antral follicles discovered there during my base u/s, only 1 is somewhat growing...

CD 18 today - I am triggering tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to my husband...

Cycle day 14....

Only because if him and his persuasion, I decided to fight back. I was gonna give up, but he said "don't quit" and I won't...I wasn't even going to purchase any more meds. I called him and said, that's it! I'm done with this cycle. In a calm voice he encouraged me to give this cycle one more day, so I bought the meds.

Spoke to my RE and decided to give this stupid cycle 4 more days of injections. If by Friday (Oct 31) I am not at least close to being triggered, then we'll cancel on Friday. That will be cycle day 18!!!!

I doubt those miniature follicles will ever catch up. I only have 1.3 / 1.2 / 1.1 / 1.0 / 0.7
Estrogen only 1,993 (CAN) or 543(US)....

IVF#5 - Getting cancelled AGAIN?

So today is Cycle Day 14

I am so so sick of this. Today is CD 14 and my RE will most likely cancel me. After all these injections, I have only 5 follicles that are developing s..l..o..w..l..y and are ranging from 1.3 to 0.7!!!!! WTF!!!!

I got canceled twice before in July and my August attempt got converted to IUI. All because my ovaries are not cooperating for unknown reason. I'm 24 and my FSH is 5.5 and no known problems. I am on 450iu of stim meds!!!!!!

IVF#5 - CD10 ...Dragging on.......

I've never produced more than 8 follicles with my 1 failed IVF and 3 IVF attempts (canceled/converted to IUI due to poor response)

I do know that when someone does Estrogen Priming Protocol (EPP), one should expect a slow stimulation. I also know that EPP helps produce more follicles, help with issue of dominant/leading follicles; but takes longer stimulation before trigger (12-17 days of stims)...

BUT!

I am on Cycle Day 10 (after 7 days of stimulation 450iu Gonal-f) and I have this:

Estrogen - 566
LH - 3.8
Prog. - 13.6
Right ovary: 9 follicles; only 2 measurable; They are 1.0 & 0.8
Left ovary: 10 follicles; only 1 measurable; It is 0.5
Lining: 0.7cm

Seems like I can compare to my last cycle day 6. So I'm statistically 4 days behind...Ugh! Patience...Patience....I think I have about 5 days of stims to go....

IVF#5 - Stimming S..L...O...W..L...Y......

This cycle drags on sooooo sloooowwww....Ugh! They say that I should expect to be stimming up to 17 days I am used to things going very fast once start stimming meds, but this cycle is really testing my patience.

Today is my CD 8, had u/s and u/s tech asked if I am on the meds yet and if this is my baseline today...I also searched online and apparently all girls on this protocol say that the shortest stimming time is 12 days and many trigger only on CD 16, so I still have a whole week or more of stimming. Every injection costs me $480 CDN (about 235 UK pounds or 300 euro)

IVF#5 - Cycle Day 3

It's my cycle day 3 today and I had my base ultrasound today.

Me and mu husband were shocked to learn that I have 17 follicles !!!!!!!!!!

I never in my life even on highest doses produced more than 8

NEVER

I was canceled 3 times due to poor response to Long Lupron Protocol and Antagonist!

Right before we went in to see the nurse, DH and I discussed as to what we are gonna do if it's 4 or something...

Obviously I overdosed myself with Estrace and it helped. This is first-time trying Estrogen Priming Technique. The downer is that I have a 1.2cm cyst but that should not be a problem, because my RE will drain it before the procedure. I am just sitting here and waiting for them to call me (based on bloodwork) and If I am ok to start stimming today...

IVF#5 - Estrace - I messed up!

I am so pissed off!!!!

For the preparation for my IVF#5 I am on Estrogen Priming and this is what happened!

I was taking
2 pills (4mg) of Estrace 2 times a day = 8 mg in Total,

for my Estrogen Priming and continues to CD2 once period shows up. Well, I am a 28 cycle always and today is CD31, so I reviewed my messages only to find out that

I was supposed to be taking
1 pill (2mg) of Estrace 2 times a day = 4 mg in Total

I am so pissed of at my stupidity and I am always meticulous about my treatment and this time I just screwed up!

Now no wonder my AF is not showing up. I also probably messed up my cycle by over-suppressing myself. I will probably go for my baseline and have only 2-3 follicles because of this! I was taking the double dose. No wonder I was so nauseous that I did not even eat normally for the last week.

What should I do? I am scared to tell RE because she might cancel my cycle. Should I tell her? Maybe I should just start taking normal dose and see what happens at my baseline after AF shows up? Then if it's bad, I will say what I did so she would not think that this protocol just does not work for me but it was my mistake.

$#@@$%! I hate myself right now!

Sorry for venting...

BRCA1 - My genes are holding me down!!!!!

....I have not posted for a while. I am just a bit depressed.

I am depressed because I've been having issue with my IVF future that stirred up my other issues and it's a big mess that I don't want to think about and it makes me emotional...

Well, my mom passed away at the age of 50 in 2004. I just turned 20 and quit my job and second year university to stay by her bedside for 5 months of palliative care. She always struggled with cancer and every woman in my family died before reaching 50. My mom had her breast removed at 31 to save her live and the battle never ended ever since. I didn't know about it because my mom was strong and shielded me and my sister from it. Before she passed away, doctors and oncologists were shocked by her aggressive breast cancer, ovarian cancer, esophagus cancer that were all non related...They tested her positive for BRCA1 gene...

BRCA1 is a breast cancer susceptibility gene. People who carry a mutation (abnormality) in this gene are at an increased risk of breast or ovarian cancer. The normal gene plays a role in repairing breaks in DNA. However, when the gene is mutated it is thought that this repair function may become disabled thus leading to more DNA replication errors and cancerous growth.A woman's lifetime chance of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer is greatly increased if she inherits an altered BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene. Women with an inherited alteration in one of these genes have an increased risk of developing these cancers at a young age..

People who carry the gene have an average 81% lifetime risk for breast cancer and 60% chance of ovarian cancer...

They tested me and my sister and we both have it...

Back to the point...

My case was taken to the medical board and they were very concerned that I am even undergoing any treatments because hormones are my enemy. I am under no circumstances allowed to have any fertility treatments. My oncologist and cancer clinic that I go to believe that it is very bad that I took all those hormones and that I should have never been allowed to take them in the first place. They said they understand that I want a baby but I most likely accelerated my chances of cancer. They said it is ok to complete this IVF cycle , maybe one more cycle after that...... but no more...NEVER because it jeopardize my chanced for future survival...

I need to get pregnant because I have already been advised by oncologist to face the fact that in order to survive this fate I will most likely have to undergo preventative surgery to reduce the risk of developing breast cancer by removing one or both breasts before the disease develops. Also called prophylactic mastectomy. As well as surgical removal of the fallopian tubes, ovaries & uterus. Preferably by the age of 35-40.

This IVF has to work or I'm out on my own in search for miracles..

I don't have time to wait for miracles.....

****************
I just want you to know that my post does not call for pity. I just merely wanted to share why I feel so negative...